If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Will exercising make me less horny?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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