well you can't waste a boner
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
