I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I could fuck to npr.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
