am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
