They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
