Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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