I wannas sexs uuuuu
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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