That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
