69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
