Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
