Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
My bed smells like the plague
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