Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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