Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
