no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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