So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
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