Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
