I hate all girls vehemently.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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