Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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