dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
