# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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