he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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