this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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