Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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