Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
