Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
