so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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