I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
