When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
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