He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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