this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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