i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Randomize
