Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
