yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
