did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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