I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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