how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
