dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
