I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Randomize
