Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
another moral hangover. fuck.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
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