let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
