I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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