you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
