That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
