I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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