I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
