My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
