i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
