You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
