we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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