i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
